ARNOLD'S BIRTHDAY!
EXT - SCHWARZENEGGER RESIDENCE - NIGHTIME - JULY 30th 2005
California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger steps out of his massive H2 and heads towards the pathway of his Sacremento mansion. It had been a long day at the office, clearing up more of Gray Davis' trash. He was pissed, and all he wanted was to sit down with his family and eat some birthday cake. After all, it was his 58th birthday - why shouldn't he be able to relax on his special day?
As he marches trowards the giant Oak door, a commotion from inside grows all the louder. "Happy Birthday dear Ahhh-nuld" is being sung loudly by drunken men and some young children. "What the fuck?" the Governor mutters to himself as he protrudes up the giant marble steps, towards the doorway. Party poppers can be heard going off and lots of cheering. "I'm having flash backs to Da 6th Day here... I hope dey aren't trying to recreate dat scene where I see myself inside, eating my own birthday cake... whoever did that would be making a BIG mistake.....".
Seconds later, the huge Oak door flys open and the Governor is greeted by scenes of Hollywood legends falling about his manor. Bill Paxton is telling sexual jokes to Linda Hamilton - who is two seconds away from kicking his ass. John McTiernan is stroking a puppy dog in the corner, mumbling "the precious, we must not harm the precious". James Cameron is jumping up and down singing karoke - Burning In The 3rd Degree, by Tryanglz.
Arnold carries on walking slowly through the crowd, and everything sort of slows down, into slow motion... almost like that scene from T1 where he's searching Tech-Noir for Sarah Connor. He moves his head left and right, pursueing an answer. Why had the party started without him? Where was his wife? His eyes suddenly fix upon Tom Arnold - who is trying to explain to Arnold's daughter, Katherine, that youth today just don't appreciate the good old rock music of the 80's, whilst smoking a Stogie.
ARNOLD: You smoked my stogies? You sonnova bitch!!
TOM: Lighten up big dude... say who the fuck are you anyway?
ARNOLD: I'm da party pooper....
Hahaha! Just a little something we came up with to make you giggle, in celebration of the big man's special day! 58 today and still looking as awesome as he did back in the early 70's!
Although we've been away on vacation for a good few weeks, we didn't forget about Arnold, or any of you! In fact, in celebration of the big man, our Vice President, Paul, held a little BBQ last week. Not everyone there were Arnold fans... but stogies were still smoked and beers drunk!
The host!
The guests....
The supplies!
You're smokin my stogie...?! Son of a bitch!!
A sure target for termination...?
Those burgers and suausages were terminated!
You talkin 'a me?
I need your burgers, your beers and your stogies. You forgot to say please....
I'll be back!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARNOLD!!!!
Global Arnold Staff
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